I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up - they have no holidays.
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno he's Frank and in...
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by four o'clock.
When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation he offered to touch-up...
She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a...
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog...
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow...
My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad but New York...
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid...
My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds...
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a...
Science is spectral analysis. Art is light synthesis.
