It's ironic really. Guys should be excited that I got Kristen Bell. If Brad Pitt gets Kristen Bell it's like 'Well of course he did.' With me it should be 'Oh good a normal-looking guy got her. Maybe I'll get me a Kristen Bell.' But guys hate my guts for always dating women I have no right to be with.

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I could never have pictured myself writing a book when I was 25 years old. My mom was an English teacher but I wasn't that way growing up.