I was taught to confront things you can't avoid. Death is one of those things. To live in a society where you're trying not to look at it is stupid because looking at death throws us back into life with more vigour and energy. The fact that flowers don't last for ever makes them beautiful.

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By the time I was 30 nobody would work with me. I was friendless I was hopeless I was suicidal lost my family - I mean it was bad. Bottomed out didn't know what I was going to do. I actually thought I was going to be a chef - go to work in a kitchen someplace.