When you're young you're always wondering when you're actually going to feel like a grownup. And I think you probably fear it in a sense too. There's a danger to feeling like an adult... like this whimsical kid in you is going to die or something. And then all of a sudden one day you kind of feel like an adult and it's really nice.
The 9/11 Commission strongly recommends that the National Intelligence Director be fully in control of the budget from developing it to implementing it to ensuring that the National Intelligence Director has the clout to make decisions.