I had a fear of becoming anything a fear of becoming a specialist. I might have become a doctor but if you become a doctor that's your specialty in life and you are defined by it. One of the attractions of being a writer is that you're never a specialist. Your field is entirely open your field is the entire human condition.
I'd fallen in love with a woman but she broke up with me and I was devastated. Six months later I went into a suicidal depression from the break-up of the relationship but I resolved to not do what my friends had done. And so I reached out for help.