My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately she was just coming home.

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I know who my dad is I've met him a few times but I don't even call him dad. I know it sounds horrible but I don't even see him as part of my family to be honest. If you want the truth it doesn't bother me because I don't know any different. I just know that me and my mum that was my family.