The only place I've felt was really my home is my cabin up north. There's something in the water there that connects me to that place. There's also this sense of isolation and loneliness about it that I've never been able to shake.

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On the one hand the idea of marriage and the sort of traditional family life repulses me. But on the other hand I long for it you know what I mean? I'm constantly in conflict with things. And it is because of my past and my upbringing and the journey that I've been on.