I'd rather rot on my own floor than be found by a bunch of bingo players in a nursing home.
Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the...
Imagine if you had baseball cards that showed all the performance stats for...
When I was going on auditions it was nerve-racking. I'd always say to my mom that it would be awesome if I could get a series. When Modern Family came along I said 'You know what Mom? I believe I'm going to get this role.'