My college Fitzwilliam was pretty good but unfashionable and I lived in digs so I was not part of the cloistered 'old college' environment which frankly was a bit intimidating. But I worked hard and settled in by exploring politics and girls.
You don't want to love - your eternal and abnormal craving is to be loved. You aren't positive you're negative. You absorb absorb as if you must fill yourself up with love because you've got a shortage somewhere.
