My mother killed herself when I was 12. I won't complete that relationship. But I can try to understand her.

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Imagine the peace symbol. The peace symbol has three pieces in it. One piece is emotion that's your body. Another piece has spirit in it that's your fuel. Another piece has intellect in it and that's your steering wheel. You can never overdo the fuel that goes into the body which is the emotions and the steering wheel to drive it.