I'd say to any woman get out of that bad relationship that's turning you into a shell of your former self. Learn from it and get out. Then wait enjoy yourself and your friends because when what you want comes along you'll spot it.
As long as you smile have sparkly eyes and stick your shoulders back...
I feel an intense intimacy with those who have this loathing interest in me....
I stand ready to lead us down a different path where we're lifted up by our desire to succeed not dragged down by a resentment of success.