It's just like any relationship the more contained the environment the more the good stuff appears and the more the bad stuff will reveal itself.
If you don't pay attention and if your imagination isn't pretty much engaged...
I feel an intense intimacy with those who have this loathing interest in me....
And as I have said it's made me think twice about the imagination. If the spirits aren't external how astonishing the mediums become! Victor Hugo said of his voices that they were like his own mental powers multiplied by five.