My second play The Birthday Party I wrote in 1958 - or 1957. It was totally destroyed by the critics of the day who called it an absolute load of rubbish.

I tend to foster drama via bleakness. If I want the reader to feel sympathy for a character I cleave the character in half on his birthday. And then it starts raining. And he's made of sugar.

It is ironic that the one thing that all religions recognize as separating us from our creator our very self-consciousness is also the one thing that divides us from our fellow creatures. It was a bitter birthday present from evolution.

I had been offered a Hollywood contract before my 18th birthday. It gave me the spark I needed.

Interventions are really emotionally exhausting and I would never ever want to have one. In the same way I would never want to have a surprise birthday party. That would be horrible.

If we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday at a time of presidential inaugurals this is thanks to Ronald Reagan who created the holiday and not to the Democratic Congress of the Carter years which rejected it.

My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.

I tried to bake a cake for my mother's birthday - it took me four hours. It was terrible and I cried for three days.

Anybody can have a birthday. It requires nothing. Murderers have birthdays. It's the opposite of anything that I believe in. And I don't like at work where you stop everything to sing 'Happy Birthday' to someone. I feel like that's for children.

When I was a kid for my birthday every year my mother made me pasta bechamel which is rigatoni with a white cream sauce.

I like to go to anybody else's birthday and if I'm invited I'm a good guest. But I never celebrate my birthdays. I really don't care.

The worst part about celebrating another birthday is the shock that you're only as well as you are.

I left school on my 15th birthday.

Every day every birthday candle I blow out every penny I throw over my shoulder in a wishing well every time my daughter says 'Let's make a wish on a star ' there's one thing I wish for: wisdom.

I just had my 30th birthday and we went turkey shooting. It's what I wanted to do so we went.

I want a chainsaw very badly because I think cutting down a tree would be unbelievably satisfying. I have asked for a chainsaw for my birthday but I think I'll probably be given jewelry instead.

My ace in the hole as a human being used to be my capacity for remembering birthdays. I worked at it. Whenever I made a new friend I made a point of finding out his or her birthday early on and I would record it in my Filofax calendar.

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party and I'm thinking 'Hey I've still got it.'

I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest but when they told me I could never have sex not even on my birthday I changed my mind.

You always get a special kick on opening day no matter how many you go through. You look forward to it like a birthday party when you're a kid. You think something wonderful is going to happen.

Some people won't go the extra mile and then on their birthday when no one makes a fuss they feel neglected and bitter.

It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time then two years later you'll be like 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'

I'm most comfortable in my birthday suit.

Mum loves me being famous! She is so excited and proud as she had me so young and couldn't support me so I am living her dream it's sweeter for both of us. It's her 40th birthday soon and I'm going to buy her 40 presents.