Here is the rule to remember in the future When anything tempts you to be bitter: not 'This is a misfortune' but 'To bear this worthily is good fortune.'

The wise man must remember that while he is a descendant of the past he is a parent of the future.

We must welcome the future remembering that soon it will be the past and we must respect the past remembering that it was once all that was humanly possible.

If future generations are to remember us more with gratitude than sorrow we must achieve more than just the miracles of technology. We must also leave them a glimpse of the world as it was created not just as it looked when we got through with it.

Happy is the person who knows what to remember of the past what to enjoy in the present and what to plan for in the future.

And remember it's also very funny because side by side with grief lies joy.

I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece.

When I turned about 12 or 13 I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them.

I auditioned for a solo in church and got it. I was about seven and I sang a song called 'Jesus I Heard You Had a Big House' and I remember people standing up at the end and me thinking 'Oh I think I'm going to like this.' That's how it all began. Sounds funny to say you got your start in church but I did.

I remember listening to the radio as a kid and finding that the songs always made me feel more peaceful. Funny but the more hurtin' the music was the better it made me feel. I think of that now when I write my songs. I may not be feelin' the blues myself but I'm writing them for other people who have a hard life.

It's funny when people talk about the 70s I can tell you the year of every album but when it comes to the later efforts I can't remember the exact years it's funny isn't it?

Memory is funny. Once you hit a vein the problem is not how to remember but how to control the flow.

No writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny because I remember when the South Park movie came out there were some critics that said 'Well it's obvious that in order to get it to be 90 minutes they filled some time with music.'

Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers... for yourself. And when in doubt make funny faces.

When I was a little kid I wrote this play about all these characters living in a haunted house. There was a witch who lived there and a mummy. When they were all hassling him this guy who bought the house - I can't believe I remember this - he said to them 'Who's paying the mortgage on this haunted house?' I thought that was really funny.

Don't remember me as too nice or beautiful or funny because then you'll be disappointed.

I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny.

You know how old I am? I'm so old I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am.

I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Look I worked with American Republican presidents and Democratic presidents all of them and each of them has shown a deep and profound friendship to Israel you know? I can't remember anybody who was in that sense negative as far as Israel is concerned.

It must be remembered that the sea is a great breeder of friendship. Two men who have known each other for twenty years find that twenty days at sea bring them nearer than ever they were before or else estrange them.

I wish we would all remember that being American is not just about the freedom we have it is about those who gave it to us.

I can remember when Democrats believed that it was the duty of America to fight for freedom over tyranny.