He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person it's not a good place for you to be.

Twitter to me works if you're funny. Twitter doesn't work as a promotional tool unless you do it very very very occasionally.

It's funny how many people will come to Vegas to see your show where they might not come out to see you unless you come to their hometown.

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.

You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom.

Unless everyone grasps the importance of having only two children per couple wars won't be over just oil anymore they will be over water and food.

Acceptable food rots while we are chased from bins behind restaurants chased from sleeping on the street chased from relieving ourselves unless we pay for food or gas until finally we are so hungry sleepless smelly constipated and beaten-down that we simply die of lack of will to live.

A fly cannot go in unless it stops somewhere therefore weapons fuel food money will not go to Afghanistan unless the neighbors of Afghanistan are working are cooperating either being themselves the origin or the transit.

Be what you would seem to be - or if you'd like it put more simply - a house is no home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body.

A house is no home unless it contain food and fire for the mind as well as for the body.

I've been to therapists my whole life. I find the less attention I pay to food the healthier I am. Any obsession is dangerous. And a whole country that's obsessed with one thing unless it's like jeans it's very dangerous. Everyone's obsessed right now with carbohydrates in this country. It's ridiculous.

Cats are very independent animals. They're very sexy if you want. Dogs are different. They're familiar. They're obedient. You call a cat you go 'Cat come here.' He doesn't come to you unless you have something in your hand that he thinks might be food. They're very free animals and I like that.

Mankind: A quality of life upgrade is available to each and every one of you. It should give you a quality of life upgrade which means no drugs no alcohol no fast food - unless of course it's a mallard.

A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body.

You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear.

Wit is so shining a quality that everybody admires it most people aim at it all people fear it and few love it unless in themselves. A man must have a good share of wit himself to endure a great share of it in another.

Unless India stands up to the world no one will respect us. In this world fear has no place. Only strength respects strength.

I always regarded people who want fame with a lot of suspicion. Unless you have a product to sell I don't know why anyone would want to be famous. I can't imagine what need that would fill.

Its only when you are a great actor and are recognised for your good work that you become famous. Unless you are in the news for the wrong reasons!

Being famous is not something that would make me feel successful - unless one was striving for mediocrity.

It seems to me that unless you or someone very close to you has had a bad head injury you really can't fathom it. You have no concept of what it is all about. It was so difficult for my whole family not just me.

Many are needed to plant and water what has been planted now that the faith has spread so far and there are so many people... No matter who plants or waters God gives no harvest unless what is planted is the faith of Peter and unless he agrees to his teachings.

Anyone who is to find Christ must first find the church. How could anyone know where Christ is and what faith is in him unless he knew where his believers are?

We are never defeated unless we give up on God.