I was talking to one of my aunties at Christmas and she said she didn't think it was ever in my nature to go against the grain that I was always a good boy. I think she was right - I did always want to be good.
When I go back to family reunions everybody goes 'Hey cousin! Hey Auntie!' And I'm like 'Okay I don't know you I have no idea who you are.' I am auntie and cousin for so many and even the ones in prison call me collect. And I'll be like 'Which of my family members are giving you this phone number?'
Clairvoyant n.: A person commonly a woman who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely that he is a blockhead.