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The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter taller richer and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

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Friendship is two-sided. It isn't a friend just because someone's doing something nice for you. That's a nice person. There's friendship when you do for each other. It's like marriage - it's two-sided.