The only thing of value I have in this life is my ability to tell a story whether in print orating writing it down or having people acting it out. That's why I'm always hoping society never collapses because the first ones to go will be entertainers.

Entertainers are there to entertain. They aren't there to teach your children the lessons that you haven't bothered to teach them at home yourself.

Since the departure of good old-fashioned entertainers the re-emergence of somebody who wants to be an entertainer has unfortunately become a synonym for camp. I don't think I'm camper than any other person who felt at home on stage and felt more at home on stage than he did offstage.

When the entertainers of the Right aren't declaring their disgust with President Obama for groveling before foreign potentates they're pretending to fear him as a left-wing thug an exemplar of what they call 'the Chicago way.'

You hear entertainers all the time saying 'If I couldn't get paid for this I'd do it for free.' When's the last time you ever heard a business person say 'If I couldn't get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum I'd do it for free'?

I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere but they're just not comedians. In fact some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers.

Magic is the oldest part of the show business profession. It can now be used as a forward-thinking tool to build a child's confidence. It has been an amazing part in many entertainers' lives including Steve Martin and the late Johnny Carson.

I am firmly of the opinion that women who make a lot of effort to hang onto their looks in middle age (unless they are beauties entertainers or prostitutes) are rather sad as one should surely have something more substantial to recommend one by this time such as kindness or cleverness.