He was a degenerate gambler. That is a man who gambled simply to gamble and must lose. As a hero who goes to war must die. Show me a gambler and I'll show you a loser show me a hero and I'll show you a corpse.
I gambled on having the strength to live two lives one for myself and one for the world.
I gambled and I lost. I failed in securing my options for this choice for myself but I succeeded in verifying the Dark Age is still with us.
If you look closely at a tree you'll notice it's knots and dead branches just like our bodies. What we learn is that beauty and imperfection go together wonderfully.