If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

God forbid you be an ugly girl 'course too pretty is also your doom 'cause everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room.

As a standup I try to change the world. As an entertainer I try to entertain. And as a lesbian I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room.

I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.