For me the greatest revenge of all is having a happy adulthood waking up in my gorgeous turquoise bedroom in the morning beside a person who really inspires me. That's the best revenge a girl-loving girl from the Bible belt could possibly have. And importantly it's healthy.
Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years scold them. By the time they turn sixteen treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends.