I've been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my staff and three guys so it's pretty equal. I don't know why that is. It's been the same thing for a while. It's hard for female comedians to stand out. That's weird. That's a shame.

The truth is I had always wanted to be a comedian but I really didn't have that kind of personality and it's a terrifying thing to say.

I'm a comedian for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.

I took an acting class. After the first day the teacher quit so they said take another. When I saw 'How to be a Stand-up Comedian ' it resonated. I realized I'd rather make 200 people laugh than make one person cry.

I would probably be a teacher if I weren't a comedian.

When I started you didn't make a lot of money by being a comedian. You didn't get a lot of respect.

Well a lot of politics is communicating with people and obviously comedy has something to do with that. I've been a producer and led people. Also being a comedian you're under pressure.

Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me as a late-night talk show which is a broader audience - is to amplify what we think America is thinking.

I wanted to be in Jim Carrey comedy movies before I met him. I wanted to be a comedian on Stage 19 yukking it up.

I wanted to make a living but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.

My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary owner of a nightclub that's responsible for starting a lot of heavy careers.

I used to have a theory actually that if you've had a good childhood a good marriage and a little bit of money in the bank you're going to make a lousy comedian.

To my knowledge I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.

I thought they may have presumed too much knowledge of certain things for people who are not comedians. Like Montreal. A comic understands what it is and its importance but someone else may not know about it.

When I see a good singer I get teary-eyed. Part of it is jealousy because all comedians are frustrated rock stars. That's a fact.

Almost every college playwright or sketch or improv comedian was sort of aware of Christopher Durang - even kids in high school. His short plays were so accessible to younger people and I think that was inspirational to me.

I think humor is important for all of us and a great comedian is a great treasure.

Every time I've done comedy in like traditional comedy clubs there's always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that the other comedians hate because they're just you know doing kind of cheap stuff like dancing around or doing like very kind of base sex humor a lot and stuff like that.

You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level.

Sure the comedians who swear or use scatological humor can get laughs but they're uncomfortable laughs.

They don't make you pay for the humor. It's up and down but they're trying to give you as many laughs as possible in 2 minutes. They are the most honest comedians ever.

For the most part comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other but most of the time they're friends. We're the only ones that can really stand our type of humor.

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.