People don't want to listen to a celebrity tweeting about their charities and shows. That's why comedy writers do well - we put out little funny ideas.

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.

The kind of funny irony is that a lot of people talk about ethical meat eating as if it's a way to care about things but also not to alienate yourself from the rest of the world. But it's so much more alienating than vegetarianism.

There's something dangerous about what's funny. Jarring and disconcerting. There is a connection between funny and scary.

A romantic comedy has to be funny and make you think about life but the obstacle that has to be overcome is key.

I had to act in a school play when I was about ten years old. I really didn't want to do it. But everyone had to do it so I didn't have a choice. A talent agent came and watched it and later gave me some work. It's funny because I'd always known that I wanted a movie career. I just didn't think that I would be in the movies.

You know what's funny? I don't ever feel the need to escape. I have a strong marriage. I like my life. You hear about these guys having midlife crises - I don't see that happening to me.

I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time.

When I was a little kid I wrote this play about all these characters living in a haunted house. There was a witch who lived there and a mummy. When they were all hassling him this guy who bought the house - I can't believe I remember this - he said to them 'Who's paying the mortgage on this haunted house?' I thought that was really funny.

The funny thing is I'm not bothered or sad about being on my own - after all I've never had a husband.

It's only I have seen enough of it and the funny thing is now I know that I'm skinny because I know there are even smaller clothes in the store. I think I'm big when I was big I never thought about it.

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that at heart I'm really a jock.

It's funny when people say 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey if I don't like you you're going to know about it.

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling it becomes funny.

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.

That's what I hate about a lot of comedies when you're hitting a line or making it funny.

You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.

No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10 000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you that it's about the people who are nominated and respect that but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are.

I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.

I could party in a cardboard box with people who are funny and don't care. For me it's really about who I surround myself with so I just try to always be with hilarious people.

It's funny about men and women. Men pay in cash to get them and pay in cash to get rid of them. Women pay emotionally coming and going. Neither has it easy.

I had everything I'd hoped for but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me.

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects rather an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.

There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off.