Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest ' humor is the only thing that is dead.

My main point is to be funny if I can slip a message in there fine.

It's interesting that whenever I meet some of the other Bond girls I always have something in common and it is an interesting sorority. We all share about our Bonds. 'Did your Bond do that?' 'Yes mine did!' So it is quite funny conversations. We may as well be in high school.

See I don't really go after girls. Most of the girlfriends I've had have come after me. So it's really funny when girls get offended because I don't hit on them.

By no means do I want to be a piece of meat for the rest of my career. It's funny when you get asked to do a talk show and then they follow it up with requesting you take your shirt off.

It's funny when people say you have sex appeal or call you the next Brad Pitt. I just laugh. I'm not that. I don't want to be that.

Women's humor seems to be a little more supportive. It's just kind of trying to make the other one laugh through funny voices and kind of talking about other people. I respond to that. I feel less like I'm going to get beat up in a room full of women than I do in a room full of guys.

What I don't like is when I see stuff that I know has had a lot of improv done or is playing around where there's no purpose to the scene other than to just be funny. What you don't want is funny scene funny scene funny scene and now here's the epiphany scene and then the movie's over.

What's so great about working with really funny women is that vanity comes second. Whatever makes it real and funny they're going to go for and it's just great.

I love funny people and when I'm with funny people or people who are amusing in their weirdness I love it. Because that to me is funny as opposed to someone who stops and says 'Hey let me tell you a joke.'

For years it's driven me crazy that women don't have better roles especially in comedies. I know so many funny women but I always felt... misogynist streak is too strong a term - but a dismissiveness.

I have an inability to enjoy things but that's why we're in comedy. If we were happy we wouldn't be funny I guess.

When I first envisioned 'Funny Games' in the mid-1990s it was my intention to have an American audience watch the movie. It is a reaction to a certain American cinema its violence its naivety the way American cinema toys with human beings. In many American films violence is made consumable.

'Funny Games' was conceived as a provocation. My other films are different. If people feel my other films are or respond to them as provocation then that's quite different. 'Funny Games' is the only one of mine where my intention was to provoke the audience.

It's unbearable when someone changes around you. Just imagine that your life partner changes then it is difficult to cope with. Or your mother. Or your father. They were strong and now they're like a baby - it's not so funny.

I am accusing him of stealing my best material he was a very funny man.

I love a smart well-written show and '30 Rock ' well you can't get any better than that. Tina Fey poos funny. There's nothing that she does that isn't funny. That show is an example of how brilliant she is. It's so smart. They've done some brilliant commentary about the 'Housewives' with 'Queen of Jordan ' their show-within-the-show.

We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things.

Music is more difficult - try naming a political band. The Dead Kennedys. The Dead Kennedys are political but they are more funny than they are political.

Only bad golfers are lucky. They're the ones bouncing balls off trees curbs turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky.

I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny and mine happen to be often rude. Yes it's juvenile but that's me.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

Sometimes people get mad at The Simpsons' subversive story telling but there's another message in there which is a celebration of making wild funny stories.

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre and they're writing some very funny stuff.