I never know when I am being funny and the other way too. I don't think you can think about that. I don't think you can try to be funny. Some people are just funny.

It's funny how people who ain't never been down there can think that America is so fair and that we should be alright. It's funny that the people who have their foot on our neck are telling us 'Get up. What's wrong with you?'

It's funny how many people will come to Vegas to see your show where they might not come out to see you unless you come to their hometown.

I don't hate humanity and I'm not interested in people who do. Although it's funny actually some of my favorite writers really do. Like Martin Amis. My dirty secret. 'London Fields' is one of my favorite books ever. And it's indefensible! But he's so funny... I forgive him everything.

People don't want to listen to a celebrity tweeting about their charities and shows. That's why comedy writers do well - we put out little funny ideas.

What other people call dark and despairing I call funny.

Japanese people have a funny habit of abbreviating names.

When you're out of sight for as long as I was there's a funny feeling of betrayal that comes over people when they see you again.

At the end of the day it's got to be a good movie it's got to be a funny movie and it's got to make people think 'Hey I couldn't have spent my time any better.'

You find out in life that people really like you funny. So what do you give 'em? Humor. And then if you show them the other side they don't like you as much. I find too that I can hide behind the idiot's mask being funny and you never see the sorrow or the pain.

I'm not funny. People assume that because my books are funny I'll be funny in real life. It's the inevitable disappointment of meeting me.

The kind of funny irony is that a lot of people talk about ethical meat eating as if it's a way to care about things but also not to alienate yourself from the rest of the world. But it's so much more alienating than vegetarianism.

It's funny I never considered that people are going to see me on the show and maybe stop me on the subway.

Funny enough if you are looking at people these days who are putting Botox in their face and getting all sorts of plastic surgery we look at them and go I can tell you've had Botox. I can tell you've had plastic surgery. You look really strange to me. But no one's saying anything. We're just accepting the fact that they're strange-looking.

The trick is always to write in pairs because if at least two people find it funny you've immediately halved the odds of it not being funny.

The funny thing is people won't let me pay for things. I'll be in a restaurant and the manager will say 'Oh no it's on the house.'

Some people can do things and get away with it. Comics are famously like that. Why is it that some guys can say the most horrible things and it's not offensive it's funny?

It's a funny thing: You want so badly for people to see what you do - you're proud of it - and I like the effect that movies have on people. But the attention can also make me uncomfortable.

I don't really get shaken very much. People could heckle me a spotlight could go out I could forget a lyric... I'm not operating on somebody's brain you know what I mean? So I just think it's all funny.

I find it so funny that people find me so interesting.

Hemingway seems to be in a funny position. People nowadays can't identify with him closely as a member of their own generation and he isn't yet historical.

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that at heart I'm really a jock.

The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?'

If you're going to tell people the truth be funny or they'll kill you.