I know some people say I can be funny. But there is always a deeper meaning to what I say. I am a socialist at heart and have the interests of the poor in mind. When people see how I manage to work my way out of tough situations it gives them hope in their own life.

A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back it comes back up like gangbusters.

It's funny about men and women. Men pay in cash to get them and pay in cash to get rid of them. Women pay emotionally coming and going. Neither has it easy.

I had everything I'd hoped for but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me.

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects rather an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.

As I get older all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.

I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean how can you tell?

I'm blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I'm sweet shy funny have a big heart and I'm nice - and I like to eat.

There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off.

I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid they told me I was being funny.

I guess when you turn off the main road you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.

You know the funny thing I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people.

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

To succeed in life you need three things: a wishbone a backbone and a funny bone.

It is not funny that anything else should fall down only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.

It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Whatever is funny is subversive every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet.

It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics that action and reaction are equal and opposite that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger.

I'm odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet.

It's a funny old world.