Like almost everyone who uses e-mail I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so exciting.

I don't mean to be funny.

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings.

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

If I studied all my life I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

I'm not funny. What I am is brave.

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

Everything is funny as long as it's happening to somebody else.

The most exciting phrase to hear in science the one that heralds new discoveries is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead you are made for life.

I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill.

But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.

It's funny how most people love the dead once you're dead your made for life.

You know fame is a funny thing man especially you know actors musicians rappers rock singers it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars you go to clubs everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough.

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about he goes off and gets married.

From there to here and here to there funny things are everywhere.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn't sing and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldn't dance - and do all kinds of things I wasn't prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it.

Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends.

That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.

People always ask me 'Were you funny as a child?' Well no I was an accountant.