As I get older all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.

All my children inherited perfect pitch.

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

People always ask me 'Were you funny as a child?' Well no I was an accountant.

I like children - fried.

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Everybody knows how to raise children except the people who have them.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel so that when you yell the name will carry.

Aristotle uses a mother's love for her child as the prime example of love or friendship.

Sixth grade was a big time in my childhood of hoops and friendship and coming up with funny things.

She discovered with great delight that one does not love one's children just because they are one's children but because of the friendship formed while raising them.

There is no friendship no love like that of the parent for the child.

What is our freedom fight about? Is it about the liberation of children or just having sex with them?

People ask me if I ever thought of writing a children's book. I say 'If I had a serious brain injury I might well write a children's book' but otherwise the idea of being conscious of who you're directing the story to is anathema to me because in my view fiction is freedom and any restraints on that are intolerable.

A growing number of young women who have the freedom to decide have decided that career can wait and the delicious early years of their children's lives can't.

I was the youngest child and got a lot more freedom than my brother and sister. I used to wander doing my own thing under the radar but I didn't get in bad bad trouble.

As a child I was given the freedom to explore my passion for acting but I also grew up in a home where there were a lot of rules. I didn't have 'yes' parents.

I used to think that if I had success I would have freedom. But I have less freedom now than I've ever had. And what gives me satisfaction is not the jewelry and not the cars. What gives me satisfaction is doing things for others like children.

I always wanted to make a children's album because you have the freedom to explore so many wonderful topics and sounds.

Another hero was Tom Swift in the books. What he stood for the freedom the scientific knowledge and being and engineer gave him the ability to invent solutions to problems. He's always been a hero to me. I buy old Tom Swift books now and read them to my own children.