I think Chris Rock at the Oscars was a great example. I thought that was intellectually hilarious. The Gap starts a war with Banana Republic... That to me was funny.

I thought I was funny as a kid.

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.

I never thought of myself as like a funny person.

No one ever thought Clint Eastwood was funny but he was.

We've seen some insane signs: 'Is that a loaf of bread in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?' Funny stuff along those lines. Very original. One just said 'I will do unspeakable things.' I thought that was very interesting - and mildly terrifying!

I've thought for the last decade or so the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages and had the ability to make it all funny entertaining and pertinent.

When I was a little kid I wrote this play about all these characters living in a haunted house. There was a witch who lived there and a mummy. When they were all hassling him this guy who bought the house - I can't believe I remember this - he said to them 'Who's paying the mortgage on this haunted house?' I thought that was really funny.

Books are funny little portable pieces of thought.

It's only I have seen enough of it and the funny thing is now I know that I'm skinny because I know there are even smaller clothes in the store. I think I'm big when I was big I never thought about it.

I wear black skinny-fit jeans - I can't get away from them. It's funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great.

I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.

Do you know it's funny but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage.

I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am.

I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers.

Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.

Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.

Brought up to respect the conventions love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.

If you want to be thought a liar always tell the truth.

The next time you have a thought... let it go.

I bought some batteries but they weren't included.

One friend in a lifetime is much two are many three are hardly possible. Friendship needs a certain parallelism of life a community of thought a rivalry of aim.

It is difficult to obtain the friendship of a cat. It is a philosophical animal... one that does not place its affections thoughtlessly.