Something about New York man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny New York is the place to go.

I sometimes lie awake at night trying to think of something funny that Richard Nixon said.

It's funny as you live through something you're not aware of it.

I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out.

At home in L.A. Sunday is lazy. It's the wife and me lying in bed with coffee watching 'The Soup' or something funny on TiVo. The kid will occasionally join us. Eventually breakfast is at a place down the street called Paty's. And we always have some kind of great dinner - my wife makes a great roast beef.

There's something dangerous about what's funny. Jarring and disconcerting. There is a connection between funny and scary.

It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.

What's funny is that the idea of popularity - even the use of the word 'popular' - is something that had been mostly absent from my life since junior high. In fact the hallmark of life after junior high seemed to be the shedding of popularity as a central concern.

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.

You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.

I've never been married but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning sleep late.

There has to be chemistry in a duet but if you go beyond the point of friendship and attraction you lose something.

I've got some great guy friends. They can start out as crushes. But when you realize something isn't going to happen you make a choice whether or not the friendship is worth it. And it usually is. Then you can laugh about the fact that you used to have a crush on him or he had one on you.

I have long enjoyed the friendship and companionship of Republicans because I am by instinct a teacher and I would like to teach them something.

No matter what message you are about to deliver somewhere whether it is holding out a hand of friendship or making clear that you disapprove of something is the fact that the person sitting across the table is a human being so the goal is to always establish common ground.

My parents and librarians along the way taught me about the space between words about the margins where so many juicy moments of life and spirit and friendship could be found. In a library you could find miracles and truth and you might find something that would make you laugh so hard that you get shushed in the friendliest way.

Love friendship and respect do not unite people as much as a common hatred for something.

I have a loyalty that runs in my bloodstream when I lock into someone or something you can't get me away from it because I commit that thoroughly. That's in friendship that's a deal that's a commitment. Don't give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand that's for life.

There is something in the unselfish and self-sacrificing love of a brute which goes directly to the heart of him who has had frequent occasion to test the paltry friendship and gossamer fidelity of mere Man.

Friendship is two-sided. It isn't a friend just because someone's doing something nice for you. That's a nice person. There's friendship when you do for each other. It's like marriage - it's two-sided.

When a friend is in trouble don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.

Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship you really haven't learned anything.

There is something akin to freedom in having a lover who has no control over you except that which he gains by kindness and attachment.