Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That's my job.

I think when you do comedy you play by a different set of rules. No one really wants you to be in that good shape. Being in good shape implies a level of vanity that isn't necessarily funny.

Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone.

When I first envisioned 'Funny Games' in the mid-1990s it was my intention to have an American audience watch the movie. It is a reaction to a certain American cinema its violence its naivety the way American cinema toys with human beings. In many American films violence is made consumable.

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.

Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They don't expect it from you and they don't want to see it. You're not entitled to be serious you're a clown.

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny his whole personage is funny.

I'm so single. It's funny. I'm usually a relationship girl. I love being in love and having a partner in crime. But it's good to be your own partner in crime. God that makes me sound like I have multiple-personality disorder.

It's funny. People often compare me to other humor essayists. They're usually quite nice comparisons I will accept those gladly. But I am always sort of appalled at the idea of being lumped with other more chick-y female writers. And the truth is probably that neither comparison is accurate.

Some of the writers I admire who seem very very funny and very emotional to me can develop a closeness with the reader without giving too much of themselves away. Lorrie Moore comes to mind as does David Sedaris. When they write the reader thinks that they're being trusted as a friend.

Something about New York man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny New York is the place to go.

Being funny it turns out is like being a bank. It's a confidence trick. As long as everyone believes in you you are fine.

Well I mean if a joke or humor is bawdy it's got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can't just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that - it's got to be funny.

It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music.

I never know when I am being funny and the other way too. I don't think you can think about that. I don't think you can try to be funny. Some people are just funny.

You find out in life that people really like you funny. So what do you give 'em? Humor. And then if you show them the other side they don't like you as much. I find too that I can hide behind the idiot's mask being funny and you never see the sorrow or the pain.

The trick is always to write in pairs because if at least two people find it funny you've immediately halved the odds of it not being funny.

I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind like a mild disability some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.

The funny thing is I'm not bothered or sad about being on my own - after all I've never had a husband.

The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?'

Do you know it's funny but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage.

Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down and when they're having a good time I can carry on the joke.

It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way that is being drunk and being the father of their son.