When I was eight years old I got a dummy for Christmas and started teaching myself. I got books and records and sat in front of the bathroom mirror practising. I did my first show in the third grade and just kept going there was no reason to quit.

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.

When I was a teenager I would lock myself in the bathroom for hours bouffanting my hair like Patty Duke and trying to recreate Barbra Streisand's flawless eyeliner only to comb it all out and wash it all off before stepping out into the world a butchish bisexual teen.

In order to satirize adequately I think you need to bring people down to Earth and be like 'Yeah these people drink coffee and have tummy troubles and they go to the bathroom like anybody else and they all have relationship problems if they even have relationships.'

I have piles of poetry books in the bathroom on the stairs everywhere. The only way to write poetry is to read it.

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

I love to be in my bathroom with my candles lit morning noon and night. I like taking hot baths and hot showers using my body scrubs and lotions.

I'm very happy with the way I look. I wake up some morning catch myself in the bathroom mirror and go 'hey girl you're alright'. But on the other hand I find the website stuff and the polls something completely removed from my own personal life. You can't take anything like that too seriously otherwise you'd end up in the loony bin.

When Demetrie got sick we knew it was our responsibility to take care of her and pay her medical bills. And we embraced that. But the tricky part is like so many families in the South we also expected her to use a separate bathroom to use separate utensils.

For marriage to be a success every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.

Bathroom humor fart and poo poo humor in movies gets a laugh. It's a pretty easy audience and that's been around for ages.

You may not like the idea of putting money into a home when you're moving out. But it's demanded by the market. You need to show it off. You don't have to rip out the kitchen and bathroom. But maybe replace the tiles or the countertops. Get professional advice.

Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink especially in a home where you don't know where the bathroom is.

As a kid I'd go into the bathroom when I was having a tantrum. I'd be in the bathroom crying studying myself in the mirror. I was preparing for future roles.

I'm like bursting. I should be working. I don't want to take a break. It's funny on set I don't have to go to the bathroom I don't have anything wrong I'm perfectly fine so through-and-through. I'm not hungry. I'm literally not even in my own body.

You know Stephen says in the movies no one ever goes to the bathroom. They shave they brush their teeth. He goes right at this sort of funny taboo we have about the bathroom and he turned it into this nightmare you know your worst fear of what's in there.

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous.

At a formal dinner party the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

I'm a fan of horrors. I love the ones that make you jump. My girlfriend hates it. I've been dating her for one-and-a-half years and I'm crazy about her but she's terrified of horror films. Not the cute 'Will you hold me?' way but she's weeping. With 'House of Wax ' we'll be sleeping and I'll go to the bathroom and she's sitting up waiting for me.

In high school I was an outcast... I wasn't cool to hang out with. I ate my lunch in a bathroom stall because that was the one place I could go where I wouldn't been seen.

I realized that I loved using computers to create something but being an architect just wasn't going to keep me interested. The idea of a life spent obsessing over bathroom details for an Upper East Side penthouse was pretty depressing.

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

Sometimes the beauty is easy. Sometimes you don't have to try at all. Sometimes you can hear the wind blow in a handshake. Sometimes there's poetry written right on the bathroom wall.